Haggard’s Law

It seems to happen so often: a public figure bashes everything he or she considers to be wrong or sinful, to later be caught involved in what he or she so denounces. Mark Foley tried to lure young guys in his bed. Larry Craig was found tap-dancing for some action in an airport bathroom stall. Glenn Murphy Jr. deliberately got guys drunk so he could give an oral examination. And the list goes on!

Well, I non-statistically analysed all these observations and discovered Haggard’s Law!

Haggard's Law

Haggard’s Law is named after devout Christian leader and professional hypocrite Ted Haggard. This former evangelical preacher asked himself What Would Jesus Do… and then he consumed methamphetamine of a male prostitute’s procreation toolkit.

Ex Pastor Ted has allegedly been cured of The Gay®, which was apparently a bigger problem than his meth use and life of (self)deception .

If we’d apply Haggard’s Law onto our friend James Dobson, we can calculate that the chance of this homophobe being gay is nearly ninety-five percent (with a five percent error margin)!

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2 Responses

Wow, the best thing ? That when I read Dobson’s rant, I think; ‘Hey, some of this won’t be bad !’

But state after state ruled that their refusal to teach positively about homosexuality was the equivalent of hate speech, and they had to teach it or be fired. Tens of thousands of Christian teachers either quit or were fired, and there are hardly any evangelical teachers in public schools any more.

Bad ?!

All businesses that have government contracts at the national, state, or local level now have to provide documentation of equal benefits for same sex couples. This was needed to overcome “systemic discrimination” against them and followed on a national level the pattern of policies already in place in San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Seattle.

Bad ?!

And how come people still don’t know the difference between homosexuality and pedophilia ?

The Boy Scouts no longer exist as an organization. They chose to disband rather than be forced to obey the Supreme Court decision that they would have to hire homosexual scoutmasters and allow them to sleep in tents with young boys.

Seriously, people that still think that shouldn’t invent time travel to go into the future… they should go back to the Middle Ages, where they belong !

I
  • Dax
  • November 1st, 2008
  • 5:29 pm

Yup, you’ve got that right. Let me translate his complaint…

Many of our freedoms have been taken away by a liberal Supreme Court and a majority of Democrats in both the House and the Senate, and hardly any brave citizen dares to resist the new government policies any more.

Loosely translated it means something like this…
“Oh yes, it is our freedom to limit the freedom of all those pesky gay-loving, reproductive choice supporting, pesky libarulhs! And in the near future they will even try to poison us by lacing the water-supply with The Gay®. They also try to brainwash our children with filthy ideals like liberty, human rights, and freedom of and from religion! Let us pray that the all-loving Jesus will show up soon to shoot all those lesbian, pinko-communist, secularist sympathizers with his Gatling Gun of Righteousness! Jesus is Love!”

*Sigh* I hope the Rapture will take place soon so the sane people can have our planet back!

II

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